Where love leads us.....

There is nothing like being in love with the right one, the God ordained connection between a man and a women surpassing the understanding of this new age world thinks love is, the kind that's here today and gone tomorrow and everybody is okay, or at least those around you assumes you should be. But, when the gift of marriage is granted and the two are joined together as one.. I believe that the Heavens applaud and the Angels sing as God smiles and says well done.

 Sounds.... wonderful... right?

You who may be reading this may find yourself asking "what fairy tail is this?" A couple of days ago I was speaking with a close  friend of mine who made a disturbing yet interesting statement which was, "men and women hated each other".... WOW, really? He went on to say, how men and women no longer had the respect that truly mattered in a relationship for one another, and I thought, "that's crazy" or... was it??? Why, I knew of several happy couples who are married, and a few who are soon to be unmarried, I know of a couple who got married today... men and women do not hate one another, but we have the wrong perception of one another. But, I guess the real question as for as marriage goes,  is, how many of them who are married or soon to be married will stay that way... I guess?

Life is full of surprises, like a box of Valentine chocolates, you don't know which one you got until you bite into it. Relationships today are almost the same, you don't know who you dealing with until you "bite into them" so-to-speak... another Man & Woman conversation I had with another friend of mine, was just as interesting and intriguing as the last with my other guy friend; for he stated that society has made almost everything instant, including LOVE. He gave the scenario of how a man can meet a women at a club or event, exchange numbers and have sex within 24 hours of meeting if not that same night.... is this TRUE, like, for real? Who was I kidding, I knew it was. 

All of this is crazy, but I think I can figure it out.... A man once said to me that "a woman, ain't nothing but a headache, that he didn't have time for" He went on to say that women talk too much, and didn't know when to shut up, yet he hasn't lost his interest in them enough to not want one sexually. Let me go on record by saying this, not all women are the same just as not every man is the same, and not every relationship story will start or end the same, because we are all different, coming for different backgrounds, with different thoughts, different perceptions on life. It is because of these differences, I feel, that we pick and choose your mates wisely, by first, knowing what qualities you are seeking or hoping to find in that person, considering personality matches, and assessing the character of a person.

 I feel if you know you are not ready to settle down with one person, don't invite an innocent unsuspecting person into your madness and don't feel that because you told them up front, about what you don't want, as you fore warning them. If, you are not ready and prepared for the responsibility of a relationship, don't enter into one... of any kind... with anyone stay by yourself. You won't instantaneously combust, I promise you won't.

Love is beautiful and refreshing and full of life when it real, when it mutual, and when its returned. Love and relationships are not a curse, but it takes time, it even takes strategy even.... And that is know yourself, knowing your heart, and knowing what you are ready or not ready to participate in. Relationships can grow from the strangest human heart material, and end up being the best life changing experience ever.

I'm Lady D. and I'm out.....

Finding My Way....

Its been a minute since I've posted but I have been thinking about love and relationships and talking to various people and reading various articles and I feel its time to get back to writing... MY first love.

Dating this day in time can be such a game most of the time, everybody has their own agenda and plan, be it hidden or seen, just about everyone has one. But what really makes a good relationship GOOD? Ladies yall know we have literally written the vision as for as what we want in a husband and made it plain, Brothas, you guys aren't tryna hear all that or be a part of that vision either. lol, right? So I was thinking, maybe we go at each other all wrong, maybe we should put away the agendas and cancel the plans, and just be ourselves and meet one another on the level of personality types and a more mature level, maybe we should take a step out side of our comfort zone even..... Hum whata ya think? Either way, it would have to be better than what we been doing. Ask ya self, what do you want in a friendship.... yep I said friendship, but only with the opposite sex not your homegirl or your homeboy. Statistically survey has shown that the majority of the relationships that start out as a friendships first, tend to last longer than the average hook ups and result in marriage even. See back in the day, our grandparents participated in this thing called courting, which allowed them to develop a friendship, because back then celibacy was popular and to have a pure girl, was good thing, these days some of us have so many miles on us, by the time we reach 45 we just tired, lol, and wore out. Truth be told, this is one reason why married couples of today aren't having relations like they should, cause they worn out and burned out from all the past relating with each other, lol. I'm not a relationship expert, but, I'm just saying, if there is a friendship established you have a better opportunity of getting to know one another and establishing a foundation that is stable. Ladies we often give in too soon and brothas, some of yall come to strong and too hard. Ladies I have found that having a guy pursue you for a while, let's you see right off if he is truly interested in YOU. For instance, if there is a guy that you're interested in, once you gather his attention toward you, be nice, but put him off for minute, act as if you're always busy, result to text messages when he call, and stop answering the phone on the first ring or don't answer at all sometimes, but shoot a text message at'em, try it, you'll find it works. Also, put your personal preferences away, see, I'm more attracted to dark skinned tall stocky guys with a great smile, yes lawd! Oh, lol, sorry.... anyway, so if and when a light skinned brotha would try and holla, I would dismiss him it didn't mater that he was nice or even handsome I could care less I would shut him down. If he was not an active member of somebody's church, I would dismiss him quickly,but be careful, because I also had my moments when I over compromised also, that's not good either. You want to explore all of your options, and take it slow, pace yourself, take time to get to know that person. You would be amazed at what a conversation can do and what you can learn about someone. Know this, and that is LOVE is a trip, and it happens when you least expect it and if your not pack and ready for that trip, you just might miss the flight to cloud nine, understand it takes time to develop so don't go putting a time limit on love. Now Grandma' nem swear that sustaining from relating during the trial run (the friendship period) helps out a lot, I say, it depends on the people. Now of course we all know we should not be having premarital relations, and should be refraining, but this is the real world, and there is probably just as many individuals in the church and outside of the church, doing their thing and I'm talking SINGLES. Now I'm not trying to expose nobody, I'm just saying. Hey now, I know of a couple of ministers who have active Tagged pages and are members of other singles social pages, and I'm not knocking them, I'm just saying, but I just wanna know what all yall doing on these sites? Huh? Lol, LOOKING, for what though? Huh? Umhum! lol. I'm just saying. We all want to feel that touch, and know that somebody special loves us and wants us as a part of their world and be a part of our world, but there has to to be an established way of doing this.

Being Single and Waiting for Love (Avoiding the "Its Complicated")

"It takes a fool to learn that love don't love nobody" the popular 1991 hit song by The Spinners, told the truth about the down side of love. Sometimes love just don't love back, yet some women will degrade themselves, their self worth and dignity in the attempt to make love work, and when it doesn't happen as fairytale's do the saga begins........ Love turns into a dog, and the unloved goes into a GREAT DEPRESSION, seeking the comfort and gratification from close friends. Rivers of tears fall, and thoughts of why,  and questions such as am I too this or too that, or was it somebody better than me? When the truth is, there was nothing wrong with you or him. Love wanted a moment and you thought you had come across a life time causing you to change your Facebook status to ITS COMPLICATED. This is the story of the broken hearted, a loveless tale of what a lot of people find themselves experiencing at some given point in life. But is the reaction really worth it? I will agree, that loosing someone you truly care about doesn't feel too good, but I bet that if one would settle down and assess the situation, the signs of red flags would still be waving. 

Ladies if a guy only calls you after 10pm wanting to come over, that's a flag and if you never meet his friends or family and it's been a year already, red flag, if you don't know where he lives, red flag, run honey. In todays society, love is depreciated by 10 to 20 percent you see it in the movies we watch, the music we listen to, its on reality TV, Social Networking, and God forbid if somebody attempts to correct the scene, all become offensive, making up excuses. The truth ladies and gentlemen, love has nothing to do with looks, money, things, or social scenes. Many may have missed out on a really great person who could have brought happiness to our lives, but because attraction over ruled character, many of us missed out!!

Ladies he can promise you the world, but if you never get to know the character of that person, how can you build a relationship with a solid trusting and communicative foundation. Too many men and women fall short of the intended because they loose sight of what they really want, especially women. Women, we expect marriage after 6 months to a year of dating, when it doesn't happen, we start trying to make it happen. We sit and listen to others tell us that its time and there we go trying to make it happen. A man once told me that men want the opportunity to choose when they get married and not be told. 

Too many woman allow loneliness to rule them into making the wrong choices in accepting the hand of the wrong man and then we end up hurt and confused. But at the end of the day we only have ourselves to blame. Ladies many of us are as hot as fire and to quick to give up the goods before we get any type of commitment, then we find ourselves asking the question "How do you feel about me?" We rush into empty situations hoping for a relationship to come out of it. Let me tel you now, love will not happen the same for everyone, and we must accept this, embrace it and move from it. As Paul would say, it would be best if you would be like me, and not get caught up in the hype of it all. 

Take time to find out who you are and what you want and deserve in a mate, and then don't settle, and understand that the important thing is you won't die if it take a while for love to locate you. Don't be ruled by loneliness, it hard at first, especially if you're use to having somebody around, but you can make it. You may long, cry, and still wonder at times whats taking so long for love to find you, but keep your eye on the prize, remembering whom God joins together no man can break up. 

A Sexy Distraction Snippet

He was tall and handsome, built like a fine tuned Mack truck, a smile that lit up the room, and oh my his voice as silky and soft as could be, he was what I wanted in a man, containing all the attributes and qualities I needed.........

We all have been there are will go there and some of us wanna go, but are the qualities mention as important as we allow ourselves to think? Welcome to my newest venture, the "Inside The Mind Of Love Blog", by yours truly. The blog will be relationship based, covering the latest trends and dating styles of today. Now heads up, I tell it just like it is even if it hurts me, because truth equals freedom.

Inspiration
I was inspired to start this particular blog because of what I see in todays relationships. The divorce rate is out of the roof, crimes of passion are on the rise, and too many people are getting married for all the wrong reasons. Now, I am not nor do I consider myself to be a relationship expert, but I read, I meet people, I watch TV, and ...... I'm single and a divorce' and I feel I can contribute that that GOD has given me to share concerning love, life, sex, and real relationships, through the experiences of others and personal experiences as well. So get ready, get ready, get ready.

Thank you for your support in advance.
Deon Taylor